First of all, I would like to wish everyone a politically correct winter holiday! And I would also like to tell all of you how much I treasure each one of you in your own special way. You make my life complete even if I can't find the right words to express that love.
But life happens and those times were I might have been able to show how much you mean to me, get lost. They fall in between the cracks of time that I wish could have been filled by something more than trepidation and awkward glances were my eyes are full but my jaw is set. I wish I could communicate with something more that just mere words because emotions preceded languages. But then I fear that my heart would run dry.
And I just wanted to say how lucky I. For my awesome friends, my family, my house, my life, my everything. I don't feel it at times when I get a bad grade in Apush or when my family doesn't understand the way I function. But I am. I eat so well I feel like I need to grow a second stomach. I get everything I need at Christmas and I can turn on warm fireplace when it gets cold. I wish I could fully understand that. But when my family starts stressing, I get caught up in their frustrations and it hurts me more than they know. The thing that troubles me the most is that I've begun to stop caring. I've begun to witness how little words and promises can mean. How cracks can open up in the ground and you can stuff them shut with "I will"'s and "I promise"'s and anything else you want. It's an awful way to live.
And I don't want to become like that. So if you guys would do me the great service to yell at me if I don't fulfill a promise and to badger me until it's done or until I die because otherwise I'll have this aching in my chest that probably isn't going to go away for a while.
Or maybe it's just heartburn...
Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Cwazy Kwanza and a Happy New Year!
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